Memories Of Nobody
by KeybladeMasterXion
Summary: During the time where Xion had only just joined Organisation XIII and has yet to even show her face, she discovers a crumpled piece of paper after bumping into Axel, which triggers her curiosity as she begins an experiment to try and find out what it's like to have a heart. How will this experiment go and will she be able to find out more about her past? Let me know what you think!
1. The Means To Have A Heart

"…If this doesn't work nothing will."

There was a reason that Xion, the fourteenth member of the organisation, did not have a nickname like the other members. From Xemnas being 'The Seeker of Darkness' to even Roxas being called 'The Key of Destiny'. Everyone but her had some sort of nickname from which they were recognised as, aside from her.

However, even though Xion was one of the youngest members in the Organisation, more then a few would deny that she couldn't get a job done. But whenever she wasn't on a mission she would of wondered off someplace else for a good couple of hours, before returning, her hood still covering that face of hers no matter what. Nobody knew what she truly looked like. Luxord had once tried to persuade her to put her hood down but his attempt failed. Making her become even more withdrawn then before. Another thing she didn't particularly like was noise.

"AXEL!"

Xion let out a sigh, she wasn't aware how noisy some of the members would be. By her assumption she had always thought that this place would be quick paced and efficient. Almost like an office for a high up company, or at least that's what she thought when Xemnas had brought her into the Organisation. She glanced out at Kingdom Hearts from one of the many windows of Castle Oblivion. Judging from the position of the moon, it had to be around 10pm now. She gathered all her assignments into one stack and left quietly. The last thing she wanted to do was attract any attention. She quickly made her way to her room, shuffling past a moogle with an organisation coat. Xion vaguely wondered who made all the organisation coats, and who would bother to make smaller sizes for moogles…

"GYAH!" Xion's papers were sent flying, pages creasing upon impact. Xion winced slightly.

"Ehehe…Sorry, Xion. You shouldn't of been daydreaming like that, it's dangerous for someone as young and as small as you." Axel bent down to pick up Xion's assignments; ignoring the heated offended glare she was giving him through her hood. "Come on, aren't you gonna help me pick up your stuff?" Axel questioned, not bothering to lift his head up to speak to her seeing as he couldn't see her face properly anyway. Xion stared down at him, feeling her shy nature kick in as she remained mute.

"YES! I found y-oh. Uhmm, hi, Xion." Roxas ran up to them. Xion turned at her name, her cloak wavering behind her.

"We're playing a tag game where we have to find each other, and when the finder finds the hider, the hider has to give a thumbs up, and if the hider forgets to give a thumbs up, they have to sing a nursery rhyme." Axel explained to Xion without missing a beat from Roxas's comment.

"Want to join in…?" Roxas questioned a little shyly, focusing his attention down at the floor while rubbing the back of his head a little awkwardly. Xion remained quiet, beneath her hood an eyebrow was raised at the thought.

"Right, well… I get a ten second head start!" Roxas exclaimed after getting no reply from Xion and then he began to run away. Axel handed Xion's belongings back with a small apologetic smile before running off ten seconds later. Xion sighed and continued her way to her room without any more impediments. She closed the door to her room quietly and set her things onto her desk, sifting through them to make sure everything was there after her collision with Axel. The pages were still creased, but nothing seemed out of place…

Xion flicked through the assignments carefully, and found a slip of paper around the middle. It was a little crinkled. She'd never put a piece of paper in here before. She flipped the mysterious sheet of paper over and found a message on the other side, written in horrible writing. The words on the page slowly got bigger as the writer went and they were quite legible.

Understanding hearts

**In order for one to understand the working of a heart, one must first surround oneself with people who have heart. Living by oneself in the desert as a hermit will not cause a sudden epiphany. This is because by oneself, one can only understand ones own heart, and this can lead to unreliable biased results.**

**Therefore, the best way to study a heart is to surround oneself with a person who displays a lot of emotion. This person must be someone one does not know well. This will minamalise any biased opinions.**

**After doing this simple experiment, one will definitely understand what it means to have a heart…**

Below the writing was a signature, to which Xion couldn't quite understand. She scanned the message again. It was written poorly, in a format that made a mockery of an informative piece of writing. What kind of example was a hermit in a desert? And why didn't they state that it was an example? Unless they were implying that he personally was a hermit in the desert, which was a complete load of rubbish. And was 'minamalise' even a word? Whoever this person was didn't have very good English, or script. But maybe Xion was just being pedantic, however, it did raise an interesting topic. Any of the Organisation members would have been interested in this piece of paper, even if it had only been vaguely. The concept certainly got the better of Xion's curiosity.

It wasn't like she didn't understand what a heart was. She knew that much at least. She knew that the fact they, nobodies, were living was scientifically impossible because they didn't have hearts to pump blood around their body. And she knew the reason that she didn't feel anything emotionally was because she didn't have a heart, which is said to be where all emotion comes from. But she did manage to remember some emotions back before she became a nobody. Most prominently, she remembered hatred, jealousy and depression. Though she cannot remember why those in particular. She had very little memory of more…positive emotions.

She looked up from the paper in thought. She knew surprise, content…possibly the vaguest, vaguest remnants of love. Well, if she couldn't remember what it was like to be in love then she mustn't of been in love for very long, or it mustn't of been very strong…

Curiosity began to gather in the back of Xion's mind. Perhaps if she did this so called 'simple experiment' then it may reveal to her the emotions she once knew. Strengthen her memory of the past. Xion set the piece of crumpled paper back onto the desk. All this thought began to give her a mild headache. If she did do the experiment then who would it even be with? And how would she begin? She hasn't said a single word to any of the members at all. They would probably all be in a state of shock if she suddenly spoke up about the means to have a heart and all this nonsense about hermits and deserts.

A small sigh escaped her throat before she finally decided to quit for the night. Saving all the thought for tomorrow when she would have more time to think about it and not be interrupted by Axel or Roxas again. With that she then lay down on her bed and her eyes slowly began to close, her mind going over the days events once more and the words from the paper sticking to her head like glue. **Understand what it means to have a heart…**


	2. Soaked To The Bone

A few hours later Xion awoke. From first glance it was hard to tell what time it was seeing as time would never pass in the world that never was. Xion stared up at Kingdom Hearts, in all its perfectly symmetrical glory. Rain began to hit her window at a steady pace. Her mind wondered right back to last night. She knew there were hundreds more emotions that existed besides the ones that she remembered. She could probably name them, but it'd be like knowing a name without a face. Meaningless. It started to bring back that headache from earlier.

Xion eyes caught a hold of something down in Dark City. Below, a small figure seemed to be twirling as a small crowd of low ranked nobodies wobbled around unevenly. The water from the rain forming into droplets onto the blonde haired boys head, leaving it to somewhat shine slightly in the darkness. In the persons hand seemed to be a weapon Xion knew all to well. Who was this person? And why did they have HER Keyblade?

Suddenly the boy threw the Keyblade around, causing it to spin at an intense speed and hit one of the nobodies, causing it to vanish from existence all together. This caused a chain reaction to occur as two of the other nobodies went in to attack the boy. Xion stood at her window in wonder as to what the boy would do next.

The boy jumped up into the air, making the two nobodies collide with one another and lay on the damp floor in a unravelled heap. With that the boy dived back down to the floor, with the Keyblade still at hand. The other Nobodies began to flee one by one as Xion then realised who this was.

Organisation member… what number was it again? XIII? It had to be seeing as he was the most recent member to of joined aside from her of course. Now what was his name? Xion wasn't the best at remembering names. This was indeed the case seeing as she had bumped into him only yesterday by accident with that spiky red haired boy as well. Roxis was it? Something along those lines more or less.

'A person that displays a lot of emotion…'

'Someone one doesn't know well…'

Xion pondered at the thought briefly before summoning a black portal and adjusting her hood once more so she wouldn't get drenched from the rain. Perhaps this would be more interesting then what she had originally intended. Considering she would've taken Roxis up on his offer of that game he was playing. In a way she was kinda glad that she wasn't the only one that was nocturnal. This way she may be able to finally say something to one of the members without the rest crowding around.

Outside, the rain seemed to be even heavier. Xion walked through the rain slowly, making sure to keep herself unnoticed by the blonde haired boy for the time being. She had to make sure that Roxis was the right candidate for this experiment that the writer spoke about. The rain showed no sign of stopping, and she could feel the water beginning to soak through her coat. Xion stood behind a staircase in the shadows, watching number XIII

Up closer, Xion could see the details in the boys face. His bright blue eyes were what she could make out the most. Xion didn't think eyes could possibly be that blue. The again, she was aware that she too had the almost exact same shade of blue for her eyes. Roxas then stood up straight and kept a firm grip onto the Keyblade. Xion could now recall why the boy had her weapon. If she remembered correctly Xemnas said that he was also a wielder of the light. Hence the nickname The Key of Destiny.

"Are you going to come out of your little hiding place anytime soon, Xion?" Roxas called, his attention still focused on surrounding area to see whether there were any nobodies in sight. Xion stepped out, feeling like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She also felt a little bad at the fact that Roxas remembered her name and she struggled to get to grips with his.

She hesitates before replying to him "…How did you know I was there?" her voice squeaked slightly from not speaking to anyone for so long. Roxas turned to face her, slight shock written on his face as he thought he heard her speak through the rain. Though it was almost inaudible, she still said something to him that he could just make out.

"Uhh, I saw your shadow…you're soaked to the bone"

"You're soaked too…"

"Yeah well, I chose to be out here to train, that and so I could get back what was rightfully mine from those Nobodies" Roxas then turned his attention to the two Nobodies that were leaning against one another in the centre of the area they stood in. He crouched down and picked up what looked like a piece of paper and shoved it into his Organisation coat.

"So…" Xion regretted not thinking this through earlier before coming down here, it was probably the most impulsive thing she had done in her whole time there. "How…are you?"

"How am I doing?" Roxas repeated a little surprised by the random question. "Uh good I guess, I got what I came down here for so yeah…what about you?" Xion was about to reply, but sneezed instead, "Oh, damn, sorry, you're probably freezing, uhm…" Roxas then opened black portal that Xion assumed would lead back to the Castle. Roxas then moved onto another question. "So, why are you down here?"

…Damn.

Xion looked up at the sky and pretended to be amazed at how beautiful Kingdom Hearts was, but really, she was just buying time. What was Axel's excuse for doing pointless things again?

"I was bored" Xion lied in a quiet tone.

"Well, why didn't you just head to your room like you always do?"

"I was bored of my room…" she replied, going over what she had just said in her head to make sure that it would make sense.

"Oh…okay" Roxas grinned, accepting the lie with an understanding tone, as though he went through the same kind of boredom every day. The two of them stood awkwardly for a moment before Roxas finally spoke up again. "Well I'm bored of being drenched" he gestured to the black portal that was still open. "Wanna get some food?"

"…Food?"

"Heh, yeah, you know the stuff that sustains us? I always thought you were sorta bright but when you speak you seem kinda slow" He chuckled in attempt to lighten up the mood a little and to possibly get her to laugh. He was pretty amazed that he was even having a conversation with her, and that she was choosing to with him of all people. Roxas paused to let Xion answer but when no reply came he continued to ramble. "Like, you're not slow in a stupid way" he began to head towards the portal and gestured for Xion to follow. "But in the sort of way that makes you seem more approachable and more relaxed then you look from a distance. Not that you look like a cold person from a distance. But your hood up all the time does kinda imply that from time to time…" Roxas paused awkwardly before continuing, "I want waffles…"

Xion scrunched her nose in confusion under her hood. Roxas was so weird. Why did he talk so much? He seemed really timid and shy yesterday when with Axel.

"What?"

"Uhh, the conversation was getting a little awkward, so I just changed the subject. It's easier that way. What do you want?"

"I'd hardly call this a conversation…" Xion muttered under her breath, not intending Roxas to hear.

"Why?" 

"Huh? Oh…well because you're doing all the talking so…"

"Oh, sorry, do I talk too much?" Roxas let out a small laugh, "I guess I'm just surprised that you're talking to me. So I'm making the most of it just in case you go quiet again" He then stepped into the portal and Xion soon followed behind, both of them arriving at the entrance to Castle Oblivion…


	3. Waffles and Syrup

Upon entering the Castle, Xion thought back to watching Roxas and the Keyblade, remembering Xemnas's words from when she had first arrived…

"You too, are a wielder of the Keyblade, a back up if you wish…for if Roxas fails to achieve our ultimate goal of Kingdom Hearts…"

So basically she was to believe that she was a back up for if Roxas screws up? That's what it seemed to her. She didn't know how she could be though; she couldn't even summon the Keyblade when she needed to. She's been struggling as it is with collecting hearts with just magic spells such as fire and Blizara.

Roxas made his way to the kitchen and Xion followed hesitantly behind, passing another moogle in the corridor.

"Hi Ellie!" Roxas greeted the moogle, who nodded back. Xion raised an eyebrow. Roxas knew the name of Moogles…? Ellie turned her big head at Xion, looking her up and down, and then holding out her hand.

"Uh…" Xion looked over at Roxas, who smiled. "She wants your shards and stones," he explained. "Oh." Xion rummaged through her pockets for a second, and when she looked up again, Ellie was giving Roxas two thumbs up. Xion furrowed her brows and handed the moogle her miscellaneous shards and such. Why was everyone giving each other thumbs up around her when she wasn't looking? It left as though everyone was conspiring against her.

"Thanks Ellie," Roxas smiled and patted the moogle on her head as she nodded again, "See you later!" The two nobodies started making their way to the kitchens, as they left, Xion turned back again, and saw Ellie staring at them. She stared back at her, and then suddenly gave her two thumbs up

Good Luck, Kupo

Xion took a sharp breath from shock, turning back around. The voice in her head laughed a little. She'd forgotten that moogles could speak to them in their heads, because the castle's moogles just didn't talk, so she'd assume that they were mute, or just as antisocial as she was…

"You're probablty wondering why I know that moogle" Roxas chuckled "And you probably think that I know all the moogles here, am I right?"

He wasn't right, but Xion wanted to know anyway, so she nodded.

"I don't know all of them, just that one, Ellie, and the one closest to the Hall of Empty Melodies. His name is Benjamin. All the other ones are sort of…silent"

"I see." Xion raised an eyebrow. Roxas had basically implied that he'd tried to talk to all of the moogles, but they'd all ignore him… which was sort of weird if you think about it.

They walked into the kitchen and Roxas made his way to the fridge. "What did you want again?"

"Nothing…"

"Okay," Roxas whistled as he rummaged through the freezer compartment of the fridge. Xion took a seat at the table, propping her head up on her hand underneath her hood. She could feel the dampness from the rain earlier seeping into her hair now. She sneezed again.

"Hey are you sure you don't want anything to warm yourself up or anything? Why not take off you hood and hang your coat to dry?" Roxas questioned, taking out the packet of waffles and setting it on the counter.

It's not like she liked wearing the Organisation coat all the time. But for some reason when she had her hood up it made the world seem a little less daunting. Everyone kept his or her distance and that was the way she liked it. Until she began speaking to Roxas that is. Out of all the nonsense he had been spouting up until now…he did have a point. The last thing she wanted was a cold that would distract her from her missions.

She nodded to him response before slowly peeling the hood off her head and letting it fall onto her back. Her mid-long black hair dripping every so often onto the table. A small blush would begin to form on her cheeks as she averted her gaze from Roxas. This was the first time she showed anybody what she looked like. She didn't quite know what to expect as his response.

Roxas shut the fridge door before his attention caught onto Xion's face. He was certainly surprised that she had actually taken her hood off. He imagined that she may of given him the silent treatment for a little while for even putting across the idea of her taking her hood off. But nonetheless she did it.

"Oh, umm…" Roxas began, not quite sure on what to say to her. "I bet when you see my waffles, you'll wish you'd ask for some" he immediately changed the topic

Xion was a little taken aback by his response. Surely he would of given her a compliment or a remark about her appearance in some way. 'Obviously his stomach was more important. Or bigger then his brain' she concluded with a small smirk.

"I doubt that" Xion finally replied to him in a monotone voice. She still didn't feel too comfortable speaking to him, but her uneasiness had subsided a little from when she first began speaking to him

"I doubt you doubt it" Roxas said without missing a beat. Xion sighed, a little bored.

"I doubt you doubt I doubt it" Xion replied under her breath a little airily, as if half of her had flown away to lala-land. It was rather unbecoming, and she surprised herself when she said it, but somehow, with Roxas, she didn't mind sounding like an idiot…

because she was in the presence of another idiot.

"What?" Roxas laughed, "I know that you know that I know that you know you're not making any sense" Roxas ripped the new pack of frozen waffles open and dropped two into the toaster. He pushed the button down and began rummaging for something else.

"What?" Xion was about to say that Roxas wasn't making any sense either, but after she thought over it in her mind, she found that it did make sense…sort of, in a weird repetitive way. Roxas's waffles popped out just as the blonde pulled a bottle of syrup out of a pristine white cupboard. Xion had to admit that they did smell pretty good. Roxas put the waffles on a plate and twisted the top of the syrup bottle and squeezed an enormous amount of the sweet substance onto it. He pulled out the silverware draw and withdrew two forks than sat down next to Xion.

"I said I didn't want any." Xion repeated, though the smell was absolutely to die for, she had to stick by not wanting any or she would appear weird.

"When you're watching me eat it then you'll want it. They're waffles for god sake, who doesn't want them?" Roxas cut off a piece using the side if his fork before stabbing it and placing it in his mouth. "These are soooo goood!" he said in delight, trying to somewhat tempt her to have a nibble as well.

Xion couldn't help but smile at the blonde's reaction to the waffles. He seemed a little over dramatic, but she didn't mind. She'd probably spoken to Roxas today more then she'd ever spoken to him or the other members within the past few weeks, before today, she couldn't even remember his name properly…his personality was a little too enthusiastic, but Xion liked it… uh, wait no, she 'tolerated' it because it was for an experiment…yes.

She'd forgotten all about the experiment.

"So, how come you followed me here if you weren't gonna eat anything?" Roxas looked down at his waffles, taking another bite. If she explained to him the real reason why she was here then the whole experiment would fail, and then she would have to find another Organisation member to do the experiment on. She selected Roxas because he wasn't as intimidating as the others seeing as he was about the same age as her and about the same height as well. That and because he was the first person she saw.

"Uh…you asked me to follow you here, and I didn't want to get a cold from the rain" she replied, thinking that her excuse was pretty logical. She sniffed to add to her point.

"Well you really should get out of those clothes soon since it will be just like being in the rain anyway, kinda defeats the point on why you came outta the rain y'know" he continued to cut at the waffle before placing yet another piece in his mouth.

Xion nodded. After a few minutes of silence she finally spoke up once again. "I've never had one of these before."

"Huh?

"Waffles"

"**WHAT?**" Roxas exclaimed in surprise, dropping his fork in shock. Xion leaned away from Roxas, surprised by his sudden outburst. They'd been sitting too closely together anyways.

"You HAVE to try it! How can you- what was your childhood like without- what?" Roxas blubbered, still unable to comprehend life without waffles.

"Well, I was born a nobody at the age of 16, and I don't remember being a somebody, so I don't really have a childhood."

"You're SIXTEEN?"

"…Uh…yes?"

"But you're so shor- I mean…you look so young! That's great! I- errr…" Roxas trailed off, "…Try some waffles." Xion giggles slightly. That had to be the number one rule Roxas stuck to; when things got awkward, change the subject.

"You've put too much syrup on them though."

"Too much syrup? Too _much_ syrup?" Roxas yanked the fork away from Xion, his expression resembling an outraged Mad Hatter, but perhaps not as crazy, "There is no such thing as 'too much' when it comes to waffles, not-as-young-as-I-thought grasshopper." Roxas cut off a generous piece for Xion stuck it on a fork and gave it to her.

"That's too much-"

"What did I just say?" Roxas glared. Xion stared at the waffles briefly before eating it. It was amazing. It was probably the sweetest thing Xion had ever tasted in her whole life, but damn, it was good. She could probably go as far as to say it was the best thing she had ever tasted!

"Is it good? Huh?"

"…It's alright." Xion replied. Roxas's eyes widened and his cheeks went a very slight pink.

"What?" Xion wiped her mouth just in case

"You just…smiled"

"What?" Xion began to go a little pink as well, unaware that she had smiled. "N-no I didn't…"

"Yeah, you did, but very very very very very faintly. So maybe you didn't feel it." Roxas held up his thumb and index finger together.

"I didn't smile."

"You did."

"I didn't."

"You- oh nevermind," Roxas smiled slyly "… Have some more waffles."

"Uh, no. I've had enough thank you."

"Awww" Roxas pouted "One more bite?"

"…No"

"One more smile?" Roxas asked hopefully

"No."

"Hmph. Fine. But the memory of your sweet smiling face is forever embedding in my memory…for blackmail." Roxas laughed evilly. Xion's eye twitched.

"…You're crazy"

"Today you've talked to me more then I've ever seen you talk to anyone before. Maybe you're the one going crazy." Roxas accused, though he was grinning goofily.

"I have spoken before you know."

"You never talked to me before though!" Roxas said in a singsong voice

"You're crazy and you're weird," Xion smirked slightly "I'm going to bed. This has been the craziest night ever" She stood and pushed in her chair.

"Kay, night, Xion!" Roxas waved, still grinning "We should do this again sometime, it's been so much fun!"

"Uh…okay. How about tomorrow then? Same time? Good night…Roxas" Xion left the kitchen, heaving a great big sigh

Tonight really was the craziest night she'd had at the castle, he had made her so tired, she had only spent an hour with the nobody! But it was sort of… interesting. Xion remembered what the experiment had said. That she had to surround herself with someone like Roxas in order to learn and feel more emotions… she had to spend more time with him even if she didn't want to.

…not that she was 100 percent reluctant to spend more time with the blonde.

…Maybe only 65 percent reluctant.


End file.
